Pokémon’s new Girafarig evolution is going to give me nightmares

A Pokémon Scarlet and Violet trailer that debuted Thursday gave us new reasons to look forward to the upcoming games. You can picnic with your Pokémon! You can build unappetizing looking sandwiches (why did they put cherry tomato on tomato?).

The trailer also introduced Girafarig’s evolution — years after the psychic type Pokémon was introduced in Generation II — in the form of Farigiraf, a truly headass (complimentary) design. In this evolution, the cute giraffe Pokémon becomes a night terror, as its tail is worn like a helmet over its face, in a Venom symbiote kind of look. It is the Uno reverse card of Pokémon.

“The head of its main body and the heads from its tail have become one,” according to Farigiraf’s official description, which reminds us that this now-terrifying giraffe has two brains. “Both of Farigiraf’s brains are connected through thick nerves, increasing its psychic energy.” Is this the last thing you’d like to see before you die?

I have some questions. Why is its tail eating its face? And why does it have teeth? (No, don’t answer that.) It looks a lot like wearing a Chain Chomp as an astronaut helmet. Or like one of these:

The antennae look a lot like feet, and fans have posed their own questions about how these might be used.

Not to mention Farigiraf is much taller than its predecessor. A whopping 10’6’’ to be precise. (Seems like a good time for this Pokémon to update its dating app profile.) It’s hard to find a precise measurement for Girafarig, but Bulbapedia puts it at a humble 4’11’. The body goes, roughly, from pony to giraffe — so I’m thinking the height is in the neck and legs.

It’s a design scheme that I’m sure Wiglett — the new Paldean garden eel that is not related to Diglett but sure looks like Diglett — can appreciate. Wiglett is, essentially, all neck. And though its height is listed just shy of four feet, Wiglett’s true length is unknown and possibly unknowable.

This Girafarig is just one of many new, exciting, and positively primordial Pokémon of Paldea. There’s Smoliv, Lechonk, Pawmi, Grafaiai, Fidough, Paldean Wooper, Cetitan, Cyclizar, and of course Wiglett — along with new starters Sprigatito, Fuecoco, and Quaxly and the motorcycle looking Legendary Pokémon Koraidon and Miraidon. What a time to catch ‘em all.