Kremlin denies report that Putin fell down stairs, soiled himself

The Kremlin has poo-pooed a report that Russian strongman Vladimir Putin recently fell down a flight of stairs and defecated on himself.

The denial comes after the Telegram channel “General SVR,” which purports to be run by a former Kremlin spy, claimed the 70-year-old leader took an a fecal fall at his residence on Nov. 30.

Putin was reported to have landed on his tailbone, causing him to “involuntarily defecate” due to “cancer affecting his stomach and bowels.”

The tyrant’s press team has since been trying to clean up after the embarrassing report.

“Regarding your request, we can say that this is completely untrue,” the Press and Information Office of the President of the Russian Federation told Newsweek in an email responding to a request for comment.

Putin’s alleged discharge came amid a rash of reports and speculation about his deteriorating health, including that he is suffering from worsening cancer and Parkinson’s disease.

“Three bodyguards helped the president get to the nearest couch and summoned medics, who are on duty at the residence,” General SVR reported last week.

“Nothing critical [was diagnosed], the president’s condition closer to nighttime was stable, he can get around on his own, with pain in the coccyx area while sitting being the only thing that bothers him,” it added.

The image-conscious leader was pictured touring a lab in Moscow the day after the incident.

Rumors about the former KGB spook’s health have mounted since Russian forces invaded Ukraine on Feb. 24. On several occasions, Putin has appeared weak and unsteady while in public. 

A Kyiv Post journalist recently tweeted screenshots of Putin greeting soldiers in the Ryazan region, prompting speculation that he had IV tracks on his hands.

General SVR also called out Putin’s shaky stance during a meeting with Belarusian leader Alexander Lukashenko.

Earlier this year, a Russian official pushed back on rumors of Putin’s illnesses in an interview with French TV station TF1, according to Newsweek.

And in July, the Kremlin also denied rumors of health woes.

“Everything is fine with his health,” spokesman Dmitry Peskov told Forbes.

“You know that Ukrainian information specialists, and American and British ones, have been throwing out various fakes about the state of the president’s health in recent months—these are nothing but fakes,” he said.

Newsweek said it has reached out to the General SVR Telegram channel for comment.