Tory party has been rabid pack of pitbulls but under Rishi – it can change

IF politics is a dog-eat-dog world, the Tory party of late is a rabid pack of pit bulls.

The chaotic past few months have brought out the very worst of the Conservatives: A veritable smorgasbord of sleaze, cronyism, chaos and corruption.

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Frontbenchers haven’t so much as stabbed one another in the back — rather, to the front, sides and any orifice going.

First came the plot to oust Boris, swiftly followed by the deeply unedifying, gladiatorial-style race to succeed him.

The collective interest of the British peo-ple was sacrificed as MPs frantically scrap-ped to bolster their own careers, and re-paper 10 Downing Street.

Under new leader Rishi Sunak, this must change.

Under Rishi, the party’s first British-Asian PM, it can. As he said: “It’s unite or die”.

No more pursuit of gain at the expense of the humane, no more in-fighting and no more slagging off our own.

Remember when Liz Truss claimed that British workers were among the laziest in Europe?

Or when then Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt suggested junior doctors were overpaid, lacking vocation and workshy?

Or, more recently, when Party Chairman Jake Berry told those facing higher energy bills to cut their consumption, get a higher salary or “go out there and get that new job”?

Nasty, nasty, nasty.

Rishi must now demonstrate a commitment to the national interest and appeal to Britons’ deep sense of patriotism and community.

Boris’ love of Great Britain, his obsession with all things

Shakespearean and our classical past, are well documented. Rishi, meanwhile, is still haunted by the revelations of his nom-dom wife.

There are issues of integrity here, and he must work hard to reassure the public he has our interests at heart — not just those of bankers, the 0.1 per cent whose bonuses remain intact post the much maligned mini-Budget.

Fiercely bright and understands money

As he would with unruly pit bulls, Rishi must also now muzzle the most outspoken of his pack.

Many might agree with Home Secretary Suella Braverman’s “dream” — one that meant “a front page of The Telegraph with a plane taking off to Rwanda” — but such comments, in the current clim-ate, are incendiary.

Similarly, it wasn’t helpful when government aides briefed that Sajid Javid was “s***” and Michael Gove a “sadist”. This isn’t “unity”.

While Sir Keir Starmer, a man so liberal he struggles to differentiate between a man and a woman, preaches tolerance and kindness, the voting records of women such as current deputy PM Theresa Coffey — anti-abortion and anti-same-sex marriage — aren’t exactly fluffy-bunny cute.

The dinosaurs need to go.

Of course, the Left have been quick to slam the Sunaks’ £730million fortune.

Sure, Rishi won’t be choosing between heating and eating this winter.

But the reality is that he comes from far more humble beginnings than, say, ex-Etonian Boris and, fiercely bright, made his own money as a banker.

If anyone understands money, it’s the former Goldman Sachs man.

He also can’t help his wife’s inherited fortune.

Actually, it’s great that Rishi’s loaded.

It means he won’t be hankering after a second job, excitedly feathering his future financial nest.

He won’t be after-dinner speaking in ten years’ time, nor will he be coining it in at Facebook, appearing on Oprah or releasing his Downing Street memoirs.

He can also pay for new wallpaper himself.

Of course, the biggest challenge for Rishi now — I mean, besides the state of the economy, his own party, the environment, soaring energy bills and sky-high mortgages etc — is making people forget that he was a traitor to Boris.

If Rishi can herald a strong and stable government, a natty — not nasty — one, if you will, then he can do just this.

BEEB NEEDS TO ACT

IMPARTIALITY at its finest.

BBC presenter Martine Croxall could barely contain her delight as she announced that Boris Johnson had withdrawn from the Tory leadership race on Sunday night. “Am I allowed to be this gleeful?

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“Well, I am,” she chortled during The Papers show.

As one viewer noted: “Had she not been wearing a mic, she’d have been standing on the desk, dancing.”

Yesterday, the Beeb tried to claw things back, saying it was “urgently reviewing” the surely undisputed breach – then they took Croxall off air.

Too little, too late.

A VERY VLAD SIGHT

FOR an animal lover, is there a more haunting picture of Putin’s barbarism?

A group of displaced dogs in Kramatorsk, Ukraine, formed an orderly queue as they waited patiently in line for a newly installed feeding station to open.

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Footage of the poor pooches – abandoned by owners forced to flee the country – quickly went viral, and is yet another reminder of why humans don’t deserve animals.

GREAT SNOOZE

TAYLOR SWIFT, a sort of 21st century lyrical Shakespeare, if Shakespeare slagged off his exes, is back with a new album.

Apparently it’s a “concept album inspired by 13 sleepless nights”.

In which case, expect my multi-Grammy winner any day now.

SADLY, THE OCTOPUS IS OFF

BANG goes another of life’s great pleasures.

Once upon a time, before airlines lost luggage and it cost the equivalent of three Fabergé eggs to travel abroad, little gave me greater joy than a bottle of ice-cold Chablis and a giant plate of grilled octopus, beachside.

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Not any more.

In a letter to Gordon Ramsay – urging him to remove his ’pus from the menu – PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) explain: “Octopuses are hyper-intelligent animals capable of complex thought processes.

They can navigate mazes, use tools and learn how to do things such as unscrew lids simply by watching.

“They are masters of disguise, they decorate their homes as we do and they have excellent memories.

“They are also extremely sensitive to pain.

“In fact, because octopuses’ brains are distributed throughout their bodies, the terror and pain that they experience at being sliced up alive or speared to death – common methods of killing these animals – is almost unimaginable.”

An accompanying video saw PETA declare that anyone who eats octopus is “basically a cannibal”.

Reluctantly, it looks like my Hannibal Lecter days are no more. Sigh.