John Mayer Explains Why He No Longer “Dates That Much”

Six years of sobriety has radically shifted John Mayer‘s approach to relationships and dating.

The musician opened up about his past failed romances in the new episode of the Call Her Daddy podcast, sharing that these days he doesn’t “date that much.” He explained, “Dating is no longer a codified activity for me, it doesn’t exist in a kind of…it’s not patterned anymore. I don’t really date. I don’t think that I have to, to be quite honest. I quit drinking, like, six years ago, so I don’t have the liquid courage. I just have dry courage.” Mayer decided to get sober after suffering a six-day hangover following Drake‘s 30th birthday party. “You have to be honest,” he said of making that decision. “You have to be really, glaringly honest.”

The “Your Body Is a Wonderland” singer also owned up to his bad reputation in the past, telling host Alex Cooper, “Look, the elephant in the room is that I’m on a show that caters to women, and I have a couple of nameplates on me, like ‘lothario’ and ‘womanizer,’ and I think that is what that is.” He continued, “But I think people would be surprised to know that it was less me going like, you know the meme of the guy behind the tree? It was less this [Mayer rubs his hands together] and more like this [Mayer looks around in disbelief], ‘Me?’ Because it was always set forth to me that, like, that shouldn’t happen.” Mayer added that growing up he was “made to believe” that “approval” from women was a fleeting thing and any romantic interest shown him was an “accident,” so he learned to “capitalize” on it. “And so I felt very deeply when somebody liked me. Very deeply,” he said.

While on tour promoting his new album Sob Rock earlier this year at a stop in Las Vegas, the Grammy winner told his audience that he also wishes people would stop asking when he’s going to finally settle down. “’When are you gonna find someone? You don’t want to have kids, do you?’ What the fuck have I done in my life to communicate that I don’t want to have kids?…What are you talking about?” he said in a video posted to Instagram. “I’m doing fine because the left side of my bed is just a row of pillows. I sleep next to a row of pillows. That stack of pillows doesn’t resent or hate me or bring me down.” But Mayer added on a positive note, “I’m having a good time. I will meet somebody. And when I do, it will be additive and awesome and great, but until then, I’m going to be just fine.”