Keeping Dallas Weird: the Most Head-Scratching News Stories of 2022

When it comes to reporting on what happens in and around Dallas, every year is weird in its own way. Perhaps weird is normal for Dallas? Even so, it seems as though each year since 2020 has only gotten weirder in Big D. Not surprisingly, in 2022 elected officials contributed to the odd nature of the year, but they were not alone.

Embarrassing, infuriating, dumbfounding, flabbergasting, brainless and, yes, just plain weird. Here are some of the most unusual Dallas Observer news stories of 2022.

QAnon John Strikes Again
John Sabal, the QAnon influencer and organizer of a 2021 QAnon convention in Dallas, perhaps unsurprisingly, posted something that defies the mere definition of “offensive” in January. Choosing Holocaust Remembrance Day to scorch digital earth with an antisemitic video was on-brand for the man who once went by the moniker QAnon John. In the furor over his post, he took it down, claiming that he didn’t realize something featuring the hashtag #SynagogueOfSatan would be antisemitic. 

But QAnon wasn’t done making news in Dallas in January. In March, we reported on how a local QAnon leader was working to program children in his conspiracy-riddled ways through live-streamed video.

A Snake in the Grand Prairie Grass
In February an unusual story started to turn weird when a Grand Prairie reptile lover and man bun enthusiast was arrested for allegedly letting his venomous West Africa Banded Cobra out into the wild intentionally. Let’s put it this way: anytime the terms “caging malfunction” and “regulated snake” are used in the same story, it belongs on a list such as the one you’re reading now. Wherever you are, Grand Prairie cobra, we hope 2022 was full of delicious and nutritious lizards and rodents.

What’s Your Sign?
Let’s be real here. We’ve all wanted to yank a political sign for a candidate we don’t like from our neighbor’s yard, but Michael Jackson “Mike” Myers took it too far in Forney. The son of a “proud white nationalist” and a former Kaufman County justice of the peace confessed to taking a bunch of signs for the district attorney candidate we can all safely assume he wasn’t going to vote for.

Plates, Trains and Penises
Dick jokes are surely as old as time itself. They may not always be funny, but they’re always there. In August, a Texas congressman revealed during a podcast interview he wasn’t in a hurry to eat a plate of dog penises… again. And in May, we went deep in an investigation of the “Phallus of North Dallas” located near a DART construction site.

When it comes to reporting on what happens in and around Dallas, every year is weird in its own way. Perhaps weird is normal for Dallas?

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A Mask, a Vax and Mayor “Karen” Johnson
In April, Dallas Mayor Eric Johnson tweeted through his frustration when trying to board a flight at Love Field. Even during a pandemic, he wasn’t going to let Southwest Airlines employees tell him to care about the health and safety of others. Sure, there wasn’t a federal law requiring him to mask up, but maybe the mayor should’ve chilled out a bit, because as the kids say, it was a bad look.

We know at least one person who surely retweeted the mayor’s anti-mask rant. In September, we reported on a Texas doctor and right-wing activist who claimed vaccinated individuals “become connected to the internet of things and can be mind-controlled by artificial intelligence through maybe 5G.”

Run, Ken, Run!
Honestly, a Ken Paxton-intensive section could run a little long, so we’ll highlight only a fraction of what we could have. And, hey, speaking of running, the Texas attorney general and McKinney resident did a bit of that when in September he scurried away as he was being served a subpoena. He also ran for reelection, and his campaign included a fair share of ridiculous moments. When thinking about the attorney general, we couldn’t help but be reminded of the many times Paxton has called for ridiculous prosecutions.

Judge Went Wacko in Waco
In October, Dallas County Judge Clay Jenkins had to defend himself against accusations of wearing blackface when he was arrested for breaking into an apartment during his college days at Baylor. His defense? He and his friends were just out joking around during a panty raid while camouflaged. Right. That’s … better?

A Worthless Coin
In August, Dallas Police Chief Eddie Garcia announced that an unnamed officer had been placed on administrative leave after creating and selling a commemorative coin featuring some rather egregious racist imagery. For a profession that often fails to address its racist members and practices, this development was rightfully panned and squashed.

Maybe We Just Let Frisco Secede?
Every other year a rush of House bills are pre-filed to prepare for the upcoming Texas legislative session. Frisco’s Republican state Rep. Jared Patterson filed HB 714 to abolish the city of Austin so it can be turned into the “District of Austin.” The bill would allow the state government to control Austin similar to how Washington, D.C. is controlled by Congress.

Of course, this is the same representative who wants to ban minors from using social media and has been a vocal crusader for yanking books he deems inappropriate out of school libraries. As we know, however, school libraries are under attack from more than just the state representative from Frisco.